Humor for the Perfectionist Parent:

A Mom's Top 10 Reasons to Run Away From Home

10. In spite of being hauled from room to room like a ball and chain, your toddler refuses to release his grip from your left ankle.
9. When your husband leaves on a business trip, you don't send him off with "I love you," but with, "Save yourself!"
8. The dog just chased the cat up and over the couch, toppling the eight piles of clean laundry you had just folded and were putting away.
7. Telling your family, "But I just fed you yesterday!" will not make them stop demanding breakfast.
6. After accepting a package from the cute new UPS guy, you realize a Cheerio is stuck to your chin.
5. Coming to you for comfort in the night, your sick preschooler pukes in your bed.
4. Your preteen daughter begins criticizing your makeup.
3. Opening the door to your car, you smell sour milk from a spill and wonder where it is; sitting down, you find out.
2. The kids ravaged your secret stash of chocolate.
And the #1 reason to run away from home is...
1. The only romantic thrill in your daily life is watching "Mr. Rodgers" take off his sport coat. ("Yeah, baby!")

A Mom's Top 10 Reasons NOT to Run Away From Home

10. The only piece of luggage with a working zipper is your preschooler's "Goin' to grandma's" mini-suitcase.
9. The last bit of cash from your purse was spent on Happy Meals at McDonalds.
8. You are only able to run if you are also pushing a grocery cart and toting a baby on one hip.
7. You promised your husband you'd take him with you, but he's still not home from work yet.
6. Your favorite pair of jeans that make your hips look quasi-normal are still in the dryer.
5. You suddenly recall scenes from scary movies about women who travel alone.
4. Your teenager just took the only car in the driveway with gas in the tank.
3. You just remembered you have a mandatory meeting at work tomorrow.
2. The dog wouldn't understand.
And the #1 reason not to run away from home is...
1. It will still be there when you get back.

(Excerpt from Balanced Living for Perfectionists, author Debi Stack)